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Up .2

2/15/2012

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However, I did weigh at 5-freakin-30 in the morning. People should still be sleeping at that hour and MY body knows that. I know that a two-hour difference makes a difference in what the machine says.

I wasn't intolerably hungry after I ate my lunch yesterday. I did eat my fruit early, and my lunch did not follow far behind. I was pretty good until late afternoon, when I did have a scoop of peanut butter. I had about 1/2 of what I'd had before. That held me until dinner, which was I think around 5:30 pm, but I didn't eat my melba or fruit because I was too full and wanted to get some treadmill in. I finally got to that around 7:30 and by the time I was done it was 9 pm and I was pretty much ready for bed. I never did get to the rest of my meal.

I'm not hungry now, or at least my brain isn't awake enough to register it. My tummy is making odd noises, but it isn't painful. 

In the last week I've released .6 lb. total. Not seeing the scale budge below that mark I've been looking for all week, along with the hunger I felt last week, makes me think this is about all I'm going to get out of this. I'm in a much better place than I was on New Year's Eve when I decided I had to do it. I feel better and I fit into more of the clothes I want, and they look like I want them to look. I can do yoga again and not feel lumpy. I'm OK with that. 

I'm sick of the food selections, even with the few modifications I made. I was telling DH last night that I look forward to salads with hard boiled egg and bacon, with real blue cheese dressing! I look forward to cream in my coffee and being able to have nuts as a snack! I want roasted green beans with olive oil, garlic and pine nuts, and sugar-free ice cream with real cream! And I know not only will I stabilize, but can keep losing at this rate (or faster) with these foods. It's time.

I also miss lotion on my skin. 

So, today, tomorrow and perhaps Friday, I keep on keeping on without the shots. I begin eating normal on Saturday. For me, normal means no sugar no starch anyway, so it won't really be just for the next 3 weeks. I'm just a lot more careful about it in the first part of stabilization. After that, it's still my normal, but once in a great while, I allow a little sugar and/or starch. For instance, we already know we are going to one of our favorite restaurants for my birthday. I know they have spectacular bread and deserts. So, I will order filet mignon and veggies (even though they also have the best pasta in the world!) but I will eat the bread and I will split a desert with my honey. We will then kick ass on bikes or something for a week or two to take off what that puts on...which is likely 2-3 lb. Yes. One meal. Reasonable, even very small, quantities. 2-3 lb. for me. It is what it is.
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    I struggled with my weight for over 20 years. I tried everything to lose weight. Yes, I did 'eat less, move more' repeatedly, convinced that doing the same thing over and over would someone yield different results. Desperate, having diligently done all the 'right' things and being told by several doctors that there was nothing wrong with me except that I wasn't trying hard enough, in 2009 I tried what seemed crazy: Dr. Simeons Hcg protocol. I lost 85 lb. 
    The first part of my journey is blogged here: My Hcg Journey to my Authentic Self

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