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UP 1.3?

2/6/2012

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The only thing keeping me from being exceedingly bummed (and kicking myself over the wine the other night) is that I know for a fact I it is not humanly possible to gain 1.3 lb. eating 500 calories...or even 700-800 calories IF the PB even added up to 200-300 extra, which I'm not sure it did.

It may have set me back a bit, and I guess we'll see how much, as well as how long it takes me to recoup. It should be a lesson to those who are learning from my mistakes: don't mess with success. I'm playing around with the parameters a lot this time and it shows. The first thing I considered is that since I'm not sure what need the PB met, perhaps I no longer need it. The constant thoughts of it left me once I had that first spoonful. The only reason I continued it each day was because it seemed to be fueling a better loss. I didn't want it anymore. In fact, yesterday I sort of reminded myself to 'take it' (that was actually the thought...don't forget to take the PB, as if it were a supplement) later in the day. 

Two factors I know are contributing as well. This morning I have confirmation that I am not yet in the ranks of menopausal women. I was starting to wonder. (And was getting ready to celebrate!) Perhaps peri-menopausal, but not yet there. And, this morning I weighed about 3 hours later than yesterday. Just that can make a huge difference. 

I know from the experience of my clients that on occasion when it looks like there is a big gain there is a bigger loss a day or two later. My experience has been incremental losses, but significant ones. 

I only have a week left of my shortest possible (for me) duration left and I'm still not hungry. Since I'm feeling great, and I'd have to not feel great (AND not be releasing the grease) for at least 5 days before I'd see it as immunity, for now I just keep doing what I'm doing and see what happens.

I'm also playing around with the idea of doing a candida cleanse as I phase out of this. I might as well start out this new year with a completely clean system. Since there is no sugar or starch in my system now (nor has there been...much...for the last 5 weeks) that should have cleared out most of any existing yeasty beasties anyway. I would think that starting out from there would mean less of a Herxheimer reaction potential. Again, we'll have to see how it goes. 

Addendum:
Odd fact...just after I posted this I remembered one of my last thoughts last night as I was changing into PJs and caught myself in the mirror was that I looked bigger. Where my collar bones and shoulders had definition before, suddenly I thought that was gone. And my thought was that the mind is a freaky thing, because I couldn't possibly have gained weight, and yet it looked to me like I did; more than 1.3 lb. even. Yet this morning I didn't think that, and the scale IS up. Weird. 

Later--

I realized on the way to work I was so tired I didn't know how I'd make it through the day. That led to thoughts of the night before when I tossed and turned all night. That also might have had something to do with the 'gain.' I'm tired as hell now and it will be an early night, hopefully one full of blissful sleep.

I missed out on a fruit and veggie both today because work was so busy. I did eat my grilled chicken and melba because I needed to take my supplements with something, but I did it on the run. It wasn't a hardship or anything. I wasn't hungry, nor am I now. 
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    I struggled with my weight for over 20 years. I tried everything to lose weight. Yes, I did 'eat less, move more' repeatedly, convinced that doing the same thing over and over would someone yield different results. Desperate, having diligently done all the 'right' things and being told by several doctors that there was nothing wrong with me except that I wasn't trying hard enough, in 2009 I tried what seemed crazy: Dr. Simeons Hcg protocol. I lost 85 lb. 
    The first part of my journey is blogged here: My Hcg Journey to my Authentic Self

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